The dating market in the UK sadly doesn’t appeal to me and it hasn’t for a really long time. Every time I dip my toes in I quickly take it back out. To be frank dating in London is the absolute ghetto and I mean that in the most nicest possible way. My patience isn’t built for this kind of dating economy as it’s way too complicated. However, the idea of an international bae is much more appealing.
With the rise of social media and the growth of Jenna’s World view I now have access to more people than ever before. The chances of the love of my life not being from the UK is rather high.
I’m not mad at that. In fact I’m very open to the idea. Especially since I haven’t had much luck on this side of the world since my last relationship. At this stage of my life combining love and travel could be the missing piece to my puzzle. I’m 28 years old and I most certainly have nothing to lose so why not.
I reached out to two of my fave bloggers and asked them to share their thoughts on the matter. It’s safe to say that I’m not alone, enjoy.
A badass DJ, travel & relationship blogger at ElleMac.com and an ultimate babe.
Hi I’m Elle Mac. You can find me on all social accounts under the handle @ElleMacUK where I discuss all things travel and relationships. I know that many people are against having an international bae, but I am all for it!
If I adore you, what is a couple of miles of land and sea? We live in an age of technology that can bring someone halfway across the world, close to you within seconds. A text, a face time call… Mate, there’s even pillows where you can feel each other heartbeats! I’m not quite at the stage of being that deep, but it’s available for those of you who want it.
You’ve got to think outside the box
Being an enthusiastic lover of travel, it gives me an excuse to explore too. I have found that when you’re with someone who is not a local, you explore your own back garden more than you do alone. You want to show them all the treasures your city has to offer and vice versa.
Do you know the amount of times I have surprised myself at how great a tour guide I am? Do you know the amount of times I have been surprised at how much my city has to offer (sometimes even for free) that I was totally oblivious to?
I am not going to try and sugar coat it and tell you that long distance relationships are easy. In fact, take all the trials and tribulations of a normal relationship and double it. There will be both physical and mental challenges that you face over time. So, you must be honest with yourself from the get-go.
International bae self review checklist
– Am I willing to compromise?
– What exactly am I willing to give up to make this work?
– Where will we be in 2/5/10 years’ time?
– Will I be fulfilled in this relationship without the intimacy of touch?
– Do I feel safe and trust this person enough when I am not there?
– Do I feel trust myself enough when they are not there?
I think that if you are truly invested in the relationship, it is easy to turn a negative into a positive. Language barrier? I get to practice learning a second language. Different country? I get to make somewhere my second home and learn about their culture. Time difference? I learn to structure my week/day so that we still have time for each other.
Anything is possible
Dating like this, leads you to mature faster and understand what you really want out of a relationship. From my own experiences – I have seen that “traditional dating” leads you to choose from the men who have already chosen you. Men will approach you in some form, and you decide which one you like best.
Through long distance dating, you are challenged to determine what you truly like about the person, why you want to make it work, how you want to be loved and how you’re going to make it work. Something I think we should all be doing anyway! Do I dare say that “traditional dating” almost seems lazy in comparison? Please don’t bite my head off. Go get that international bae.
The mastermind behind the Suburbansassy.com where she combines her love for travel & wine.
Okay, so a brief introduction to my background would be necessary to explain my views. I was originally born in The Bahamas, I left after grade 9 and went to Jersey Channel Islands. After spending 2 years there, I went to Canada and all of my degrees are from there. My first boyfriend was Irish, his name was Jack and he had a pet turtle. None of this is relevant but it sure makes for a good story.
While most of my peers dated each other at home, I was dating Irishmen, Englishmen and the list goes on. Dating outside of my country is normal to me because at the time I started to date, it was the only thing I knew.
Stop playing it safe
I’ve dated Bahamians and while I’ve had some fun times, I’ve come to the realization that the dating culture in my country isn’t something I can stomach. The way we normalize cheating, the way we’ve coddled our men and continue to make excuses for their behavior amongst other things issa no for me.
And while I’ve seen some of these same behaviors in men all over the world, for me I’d rather take that chance than date at home, where the chances of me not running into a man that isn’t like that is slim to none.
There is much more to explore
There is definitely beauty in broadening your horizons to find love. Don’t we travel because we’re open to new experiences, learning new cultures and meeting new people? So if we travel because we’re open to this, then what does that say about us when we refuse to date outside of our country? Also, the build up to see your man does wonders for your sex life!
As an adult, I completely advocate for dating outside of my country. Not only do I have a larger pool of potential love interests but I can also rack up my air miles while going to see my international bae or meeting in different countries for dates.
If you’re fed up of the dating scene in your city maybe it’s time for you to start branching out. Sometimes a change of scenery could be exactly what your love life needs. Everyone’s journey to love is different. The love of my life might be in LA while yours could be in Trinidad. Don’t knock the idea because you just never know. So if I were you I’de start booking those 2020 flights.
Lots of love