Opening words from Jenna

For those of you that follow Char and I on the socials we are forever stepping on each others necks. Believe it or not there is actually a lot of love between us. Now despite our constant disagreements online Why I’m No Longer Talking About Dating is where both Memoirs & Musings and Jenna’s World View come into agreement, enjoy πŸ™‚


CHAR_x0

Twitter – @Char_x0

Website – Memoirs & Musings

woman saying hush

I am so bored of the whole conversation around relationships, dating, finding a soulmate, finding the “one” and thinking the key to life is legally tying yourself to someone. Maybe I’ve been single too long, become bitter in my old age or perhaps my focus is on other aspects of my life but it’s SO BORING. When a close friend of mine got married last year, all I could think of is “she’s really going through with this”.

African man wow

Meeting up with old friends has become monotonous. After the conversation goes from talking about work and what you’ve been up to, soon comes the age old questions:

What they ask:

“So, are you seeing anyone at the moment?”

What I want to respond:

I see my personal trainer once a week, does that count?

What they ask:

“Hows dating going?”

What I want to respond:

It isn’t.

What they ask:

“Aren’t you on any dating apps?”

What I want to respond:

No, because it’s like swiping through an Argos catalogue full of humans ****

And so on an so forth.

I guess my stance on relationships and dating is echoed in my 2016 blog post titled ‘Why I’m Refusing To Settle‘:

Do I even want a relationship right now? No. I’m even refusing to settle in that part of my life. I know if I don’t settle with someone, I won’t eliminate what I want and don’t want in a relationship. But in all honesty it just sounds like a massive headache. I listen to my friends complain about their partners and all I can think of is, if you’re not happy – LEAVE or choose to work on it. I know it’s not that simple, but I’ve been in that situation before and wish I’d got out of things much sooner – but life has a funny way of making you learn a lesson. Hindsight truly is a wonderful thing. 

It’s like they ask that and if you say no they’re like “ah well you’ll find someone!” And if you say yes they’re like “oh really? Bit soon?”

What exactly does soon mean? A week, a month, a year, two years? 

Right now, the most important relationship I have is with myself and if I don’t continue to work on that, I won’t get anywhere. I’ve always thought the whole thought that “Getting married and having kids is so clichΓ©” and to some extent I do agree.

I guess that has reminded me of why I got frustrated and started writing this post to begin with. I refuse to settle. Does this mean I have high standards? Probably. Does this mean I’m going to turn into some spinster? Probably. Is it because I’m trying to hold on to the last year of my 20s and become the CEO of living my best life? Probably. 

What I’m really trying to get is that you could have a relationship, a marriage, a life partner and seemingly what our modern society wants BUT no one asks if you’re happy. Its always “When are you getting married?”, “When are you having babies?” but never “Are you happy?”… and so begs the question:

What more is there to say?

And before anyone comments “I have all of these things and I’m happy”. Good for you. I’m talking about society as a whole or those annoying friends and family members who equate your happiness to a relationship status.

*drops mic*

Char xo


Catch Char sitting on the mini panel discussion at the JWV Day Party next month. Get you ticket today, come out to vibe with us and have a good time.

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